McDonalds is Not a Date
by tonystarksnipples
Summary: Tony wants McDonalds and Steve wants Tony. But it's not a date. Steve has to keep reminding himself of that, but how can he with the way Tony is looking at him? Stony. High School AU.


We were let out of class early. As always, I hung back until he put his jacket on so we could walk down the three flights of stairs and make small talk before he turned left to go to his car, and I turned right to go to mine. That annoying kid who's name we never bothered to learn decided to walk with us. She was shorter than us both, and we exchanged a look over her head. There was nothing we could do about it.

"So I think your presentation went well, Tony. Your's was okay too, Steve." Then because she was who she was, she brought up the presentation she had done two weeks ago. "What about mine? Did I do okay? I just love working."

"You did great," Tony muttered. He rolled his eyes and I had to fight not to laugh. I had such a teenage girl crush on Tony for the entire semester, and the semester was almost over. We only had a few more of these hallway walks left, and I hated that we had to spend it with teachers-pet-annoying-midget-girl.

We got out of the building and I turned right. I waited a few steps before looking over my shoulder as I always did, sneaking in one last glimpse of Tony. I almost jumped when I realized he was standing right behind me.

"I would kill for some McDonalds right now."

"I haven't had McDonalds in forever," I mused, mostly to myself. Okay, so maybe a part of me wanted him to hear. Apparently he did because…

"Wanna go with me? To McDonalds?"

"Uh… sure." I fought the doofy smile that was threatening to break my face. "Just let me put my books in my car."

"I'll be waiting here."

I ran to my car, unlocked the door, threw my backpack of the seat, and grabbed five dollars from the cup holder. All of my money was going to that looming death trap called college. I was on a budget. I ran back to Tony. He hadn't moved, except he had his phone out now.

"I'm back."

"You're hard to miss. Mind if we go this way?" he pointed to the hill beside the junior parking lot that was on the right side of the English building we had just exited.

"But you're parked over there in the senior parking lot, aren't you?"

"I think this is a shortcut."

"Okay, whatever."

We made our way down the grassy hill. I shuffled my feet in an attempt not to fall on my face. Tony, always confident, didn't change his stride. He didn't even seem the slightest bit wobbly. "This would be an awesome sledding hill in the winter, no? Like, this little dip at the end. And then a jump here where the plow pushes the snow out of the parking lot. That would be amazing. Hey, we're here."

And so we were. I had never been to the senior parking lot, but I figured since it was full of cars and seniors getting into them, we were, in fact, where we were supposed to be.

"That was one hell of a shortcut."

"Yeah."

Tony, for whatever reason, had parked in the farthest possible parking space in the entire parking lot. As we walked to it, we made awkward small talk.

"So Mr. Junior. Any plans for the big C?" he asked.

"I want to go to art school."

"I've seen the drawings you do in class. They're good."

"They're just doodles," I muttered. I hated people complimenting me, something I was probably going to have to get used to if I ever _actually_ became an artist. "How about you?"

"MIT baby. I was accepted when I was a freshman here, but I wanted to experience the whole high school thing. I don't know. It looked like a lot more fun in _High School Musical_."

"That's because that was a Disney movie."

"Doesn't matter. If Zac Efron is involved, it is art. Kind of like his ass. Yum." Well, that was unexpected. I would never have pinned Tony down to like guys' asses, mainly because he always had a swarm of girls all around him. He wasn't an athlete and he wasn't involved in theater, he was president of the science club, yet he always had the most girls around him. Tony was actually kind of a nerd. A very charismatic, very sexy, nerd.

I was too busy thinking about all of it that I didn't even notice that he had stopped walking. I had almost passed two other cars before I realized he was unlocking his. "Back here, muscles."

I blushed at the nickname and turned back to his car. I barely managed to squeeze into his clown car. He wasn't a big guy himself and his knees were resting on either side of the steering wheel. "Roomy," I joked.

"Shut up."

I smiled until he reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a bowl and a lighter. Well then. I also did not expect this. I didn't much care, my best friend did it all the time, but it just came as a bit of a surprise. He put it between his legs before peeling out of the parking lot. I was too big for the seatbelt to wrap around me, so as I we turned around the corner, I slammed against the door.

"Oops, sorry. Smoke?" he asked.

"No thanks. I don't." I prepared myself for the _do you think you're better than me? _guilt trip I got all the time, but it didn't come.

"Really? Hm. Good for you. That's rare. Not often do you find someone in high school who doesn't smoke. May I ask why?"

"I don't need to explain myself." Then, after a moment I added. "May I asked why you_ do_?" I didn't care if I got an answer, but I just wanted to put him in the same position he had put me in.

I could tell that I caught him off guard. He had the bowl in his mouth and was driving down the straight road with his knees bracing the steering wheel. I was so culturally excepted that it was stranger for someone to not do drugs than for someone to do them. "I don't know. I just… do." But then he lowered the bowl and lighter.

"Then aren't you going to?"

"There's no reason to. I'm hanging out with you. I guess it's just habit. Get in the car, smoke the weed. Here, put it back in the glove for me."

"Uh, sure." I had to put my feet up on the dashboard and reach between my legs to open the little door. Tony found this endlessly funny and laughed so hard that he nearly veered off the road. When I reached in to put his stuff back inside, he managed to surprise me even more. "Sheet music?"

"I sing in the a cappella group in town. Tell anyone and you die."

"I didn't know you sang."

"I don't advertise it."

"I love to sing. I'm horrible, but I love it."

"It's fun."

He nodded his head in understanding. "What makes you think you're not good? Have you ever heard yourself?"

"Yeah. I record myself sometimes in hopes that I've magically gotten better and can actually have the courage to sing in front of other people."

"No one likes their own singing voice. C'mon, sing something for me."

"No, Tony. Turn here."

"I know how to fucking get to McDonalds." He made another one of those panic inducing turns and I was once again slammed into the door. He slammed on the gas, ran a red light, and turned into the parking lot without his blinker. "Adrenaline. It's the best, isn't it? Drive through okay?"

"Yeah."

"Got it." We pulled up the little speaker and the lady asked what we wanted to eat. "I'll have, uh…" He then proceeded to order the entirety of the dollar menu. Or… at least pretty close. "What do you want, Steve?" he asked when he had finished.

"Just a Big Mac and a coke, please."

"_Please pull up_."

There was a line of cars in front of us when we pulled around the corner. I handed Tony my five. It was more than I ordered, but I didn't much care. I was just happy to be able to have a conversation that wasn't small talk about the class we just got out of. He reached into all of his pockets and came up with absolutely nothing. He pulled his wallet out of his backpack. Inside there was a five.

"_Shit_," he hissed. "Two dollars. We're short two fucking dollar."

"Okay, we'll figure it out." I reached into my pocked and produced three dimes. "See, progress! However, that was the only real progress we made. There was no other silver to be found. We resulted to counting pennies. He had plenty of them in the single cup holder. However, there weren't one hundred and seventy. There were fifty seven. "Well… we'll figure it out." I said, just as we pulled up to the window.

"Hiiiii." Tony slapped on one of those grins that he uses to convince teachers to extending a homework deadline. "We're a little short."

"How short?" the lady did not seem amused.

"About a dollar thirty. We honestly did the best we could." He handed her the two fives and all the pennies. She looked almost sorry for us.

"No one who has enough money counts pennies, so I'll let it slide."

"Thanks." Tony started to drive away.

"The food!" I shouted a little too desperately. I did not count pennies for the food to go to waste.

"Right, right." Tony backed up, almost running into the car behind us. When he grabbed the food and we once again peeled out of the parking lot, I was howl laughing.

"You're fucking crazy. What do you want first?" I asked as I reached in the bag.

"Surprise me."

"Chicken nuggets it is."

I grabbed my burger and tried to open it while balancing my soda between my legs because I was physically unable to reach the cup holder while holding both the bag and my sandwich. We ran another red light as I took the pickles off of my burger.

"Don't tell me you hate pickles!"

"Pickles and cucumbers too. They're gross."

"Well you're not letting those go to waste." He took the hand that was on the wheel and grabbed the pickles out of my box. We started to drift into the other lane and the honking of horns made him grab the wheel with his chicken nugget hand.

"Okay, so carrots." Because it makes sense to talk about healthy things while eating fast food.

"Only good raw," he answered without hesitation.

"Agreed, but even then I don't care for them."

"Okay, so is this a game we're going to be playing? Fine then. Avocados."

"The smell repulses me. Corn."

"The only way to eat it is on the cob. And corn bread. All other variations are bullshit."

"Agreed." I was thrown forward as Tony stopped for the first red light the entire trip.

"You like Harry Potter, right?"

I looked at him strangely. I had brought it up once a few months ago in class when we were talking about… I don't even remember. "I actually _love_ Harry Potter." I was once again slammed against the door as he pulled a U-Turn.

"I have to show you something."

I was taking timid bites of my burger, trying not to have it fall all over me. A Big Mac is decidedly a two hand activity, but my other hand was busy holding my soda so whatever. A few minutes later we were pulled into a driveway. "Is this where you live?" It was big, but not too big. I don't know why, but I always pictured Tony in a giant mansion looking over the ocean, even though there was no ocean within two hundred miles of where we were.

"Yeah. Hold on one second. I'll be right back."

"Okay." He disappearing into the house. I ate my burger in three bites, now being able to use my other hand instead of using it to protect my drink from Tony's driving. He returned a minute later, his hand behind his back.

"Check 'em out!" he had two wands in his hands. "A simple flick of the wrist and it lights up!"

I resisted the urge to make a penis joke. I took the one he held out to me. "Uh…" I said. "Expelliarmus." I flicked the wand and true to his word, it lit up.

"Very good, very good. You are a very talented wizard. For a Hufflepuff."

"_Hufflepuff_? C'mon. I mean yellow isn't my color, and a badger, really?"

"Don't complain. The sorting hat knows what it's doing."

"Oh yeah? And where did it place you, Mr. Tony Stark?"

"Isn't it obvious? Slytherin!"

"Oh yes. Obvious." I rolled my eyes.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" he flicked the wand.

"What do you think your patronus would be?"

"A walrus. And yours would be a…" he paused to think. "A goat."

"A _goat_? You just like to insult me."

"Goats are majestic fucking creatures, okay?"

"Whatever you say."

"Okay. I say majestic."

We sat for a long time in his driveway, casting "spells" and laughing around the cold McDonalds food. Eventually we had to go back to get my car. They were going to lock the student lots and then I wouldn't have a way to school tomorrow. We drove back in virtual silence. I didn't know what Tony was thinking, but all I could think of was how this was the best afternoon… ever. My stomach kept doing that thing where it gets all tight, but it feels really loose at the same time. I felt warm inside and it was all I could do not to giggle.

Mine was the last car in the lot. He pulled up next to it. "Here you go."

"Thanks. I had a lot of fun. I opened the door and tried to get out, but I overestimated the size of the opening and the doors ability to_ stay_ open, so it hit me in the face and knocked me back to my seat.

I turned to see him laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. "You are too precious," he said before… _WOAH THERE BUCKAROO_ he knew how to kiss. I tried to kiss him back, but mostly I was trying no to start hysterically scream-laughing because of how deliriously happy this was making me. He leaned back and licked his lips. "Yup. That was worth the wait."

I cleared my throat. "Wait?"

"Why else would I invite you do go to McDonalds? For the quality of the meal? I like you, dude. You're just too stupid to see it."

"That road goes two ways, because I like you, too."

"Oh, I know you do. No one goes with someone to McDonalds for the food." He winked. I didn't know if I was supposed to kiss him again or what, so I just got out of the car.

"So… I'll… see you in class tomorrow?"

"If you don't get back in this car and kiss me goodbye I'm going to bitch slap you."

* * *

**Author's Note:  
Based on a not date I went on with the guy I like last night. It didn't end as splendidly, but whatever. The vegetable discussion was literally word for word. Fucking awesome shit man.**


End file.
